The problem has not a simple solution
nobody on the hibernate team showed up telling anything about the hibernate problem.
because hibernate HAVE a problem in respect of memory usage, and just ignoring it won't move hibernate any further.
the "solution" for us was to build a jboss dev machine with a 64bit os, 64bit jvm and 4g of ram, all committed to jboss.
for 4k tables, 3.5g ram are used just for pojo decoration
we currently doesn't have enough resources to look at the problem, so we throw hardware at it.
I think that a weak reference map of the decorated classes with a lazy initialization pattern for the decoration will suffice, but we currently couldn't look into it.
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