When I have a SQL failure (value to large for column) during a save (or saveOrUpdate), the lifecycle objects are discarded from the Set on the containing object.

Briefly, something like this:

public class Wart extends Synchonzied {
public Wart(Frog frog) {
this.host = frog;
}
Long id = null;
String color = null;
Frog host = null;
...
}

public class Frog extends Syncrhonized {
public Long id = null;
public Set warts = null; // collection of Warts
...
}

...
Frog larry = new Frog();
larry.addWart(new Wart(larry));
...
session.beginTransaction();
session.save(larry);
...
...println(larry.getWarts().size());

Output: 0

This might help:
<hibernate-mapping>
<class
name="Frog"
table="FROG">

<id
name="id"
type="java.lang.Long"
column="FROG_ID">

<generator class="sequence">
<param name="sequence">FROG_SEQ</param>
</generator>
</id>

<set
name="warts"
cascade="save-update"
inverse="true"
lazy="false">

<key column="FROG_ID" />
<one-to-many class="Wart"/>
</set>

</class>
</hibernate-mapping>



<hibernate-mapping>
<class
name="Wart"
table="WART">

<id
name="id"
type="java.lang.Long"
column="WART_ID">

<generator class="sequence">
<param name="sequence">WART_SEQ</param>
</generator>
</id>

<many-to-one
name="host"
class="Frog"
column="FROG_ID"
not-null="true">
</many-to-one>
</class>
</hibernate-mapping>