public void testRefreshAfterDeleteInOtherSession() {
      Session s = openSession();
        s.beginTransaction();
      Node parent = new Node( "parent" );
      Node child = new Node( "child" );
      parent.getCascadingChildren().add( child );
        assertEquals("s parent has 1 child", 1, parent.getCascadingChildren().size());
      s.persist( parent );
      s.getTransaction().commit();
        s.flush();

        deleteChildViaOtherSession("parent");

        s.refresh(parent);
       
        assertEquals("s parent has no children", 0, parent.getCascadingChildren().size());
    }

    private Node deleteChildViaOtherSession(String parentId) {
        Node parent;
        Session s2 = openSession();
        s2.beginTransaction();
        parent = ( Node ) s2.get( Node.class, parentId);
        parent.getCascadingChildren().clear();
        s2.getTransaction().commit();
        s2.flush();
        s2.close();
        return parent;
    }

   <class name="Node" polymorphism="explicit">
      <id name="name">
         <generator class="assigned"/>
      </id>
      <property name="description"/>
      <many-to-one name="parent"/>
      <property name="created" not-null="true"/>
      <set name="children"
         inverse="true"
         cascade="persist,merge,save-update,evict">
         <key column="parent"/>
         <one-to-many class="Node"/>
      </set>
      <set name="cascadingChildren" inverse="false" cascade="persist,merge,save-update,evict,delete,refresh,delete-orphan">
            <key column="CASC_PARENT"/>
            <one-to-many class="Node"/>
        </set>
    </class>