| dlr137,
 Here is one idea: make the relationship "bidirectional", so that you can not only add children to a parent, but do something like child.setParent(parent);
 
 In your mapping files, you have to create a one-to-many relationship from parent to child, and on the child mapping, a many-to-one relationship from child to parent. Mark the parent-to-child with inverse="true".
 
 In this way, you can add a relationship between the two without having to retrieve the whole list of children. You just create a new children and set his parent.
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 Gonzalo Díaz
 
 
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